subscribe to the How to Handle Toxic, Negative People
Posted by Fit For Jesus! on July 2, 2009
Discovering and removing the negative influences in our life will help us more than we realize. Studies show that our own thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are a reflection of the people we spend the most time with.
All too often, we are faced with negative people and influences that surround us and affect us as a person, in all areas of our life. “Toxic” people are like vampires . They suck the life and energy right out of you. Toxic people are ultimately the people who cause you the most negative stress in your life. They are the people that make you feel unhappy, or spoil your mood purposely every chance they get.
Toxic people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy, and all too often, they will squash any type of lifestyle change YOU are trying to make. Toxic people are just pieces of the obstacle course you will run through in your efforts obtain your nutrition and fitness goals, and they have a detrimental effect on your mental thoughts and mental toughness.
Who wants or needs that?
Toxic people truly believe that they are constantly taken advantage of by others and that bad things are always happening to them. They are often the people who make mountains out of molehills. Toxic people are those who think they are doing something right, by complaining and blowing up almost any situation, whether it is a small issue or a large one.
Amazingly, toxic people believe their negative comments are helping to solve the situation in some way. In addition, they often rely on others to entertain them or make them happy. Even if it’s not other people, they often rely on some kind of outside source to keep them happy. All too often, toxic people find this happiness in social settings with food and drinks, which ends up being a “perfect” setting to express their negativity.
Unfortunately, toxic people are everywhere; just take a moment to look around. Don’t let them take your happiness away or affect your mood. Toxic people only have as much power, control, and impact on our lives that we allow them to have.
Each day, we are faced with a decision and need to say to ourselves, “I can either allow these negative and “toxic” people to ruin my day and my actions for that day, or I can choose to rise above them, completely remove them from my life, or speak motivating words to them and move on!” At that point, it is up to them as to whether they choose to use the motivating words to their advantage or not.
Toxic people need boundaries, and giving them a time limit lets them know you will only tolerate a small amount of negativity. Check your watch, allow them to vent for two minutes, give them some positive words of encouragement and then move away and fill your head with positive affirmations and thoughts as soon as you can!
Transform your energy into positive energy and remove these negative “toxic” people from your life. I realize that these toxic people might include close friends or even family members. Remember, in order for you to reach your goal you must stay focused on the end result , remind yourself what is most important to you, and if your friend or family member can’t support you with your goals, why are they in your life… and do they truly care for you and your well-being?
So, my question to you is: who do you spend the most time with, and do they help you toward your goals or pull you away from them?
~ Alissa Nelms
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8 Responses to “How to Handle Toxic, Negative People”Leave a comment, and if you'd like your own picture to show up next to your comments, go get a gravatar!
Great post. except for no bibilcal reference, just your own thoughts, seemingly…. So my thoughts, tee hee… are as Christians we are to set boundaries, but ultimatley we are here to Glorify God and if he has us in a situation where things are negative, it is for our refinement, as well as the negative person’s…
So, what does that look like? A touhg balance, especially when dealing with loved one’s, both friends and famliy…
Or maybe I am just rationalizing…. Or maybe the Love that exists in our heart (Jesus) and the love we exude (The Holy Spirit), and the Grace that has been extended to us (God via Christ, aloows us the power we need to overcaome any obsatcle, as we glorify him for our pursuits, if we belive that God has us in the situation to Glify him…
Just a thought and pursuit,
Oh, Ephesians 5, offers some advise on loving all people and being salt and light, exuding the fruits of the spirit… I do know where to draw that line, myself with reagrds to people that suck that very light out of you….
God bless
I am in a interesting situation, the negative flow went from unnamed person to my wife then to me, could not believe the stress this started for me ! Can I have people pray for my situation ?, trying to finnish up my college degree, need all the prayer I can get, Pastor is very suppourtive.
Mark, we’ll be glad to pray for you. Thank you for the request, and we pray God will handle your situation in a manner that brings glory and honor to Him and relieves you of the stressful situation!
Thx, you two are an inspiration. God bless 2 all……………….
How important this truth is – toxic people can do so much damage. A good friend laid out this truth to me many years ago – and I have tried to lived by it in my life. But it is more of a challenge when those people are family – then it becomes about setting the right boundaries. Thanks for posting – I keep it up!
Rachel
Just recently found this site and I love it. I’ve added it to my sidebar. I run a weekly feature called Fitness Friday, and I plan to direct my readers here in the weeks to come. So THANKS!
I love that you’ve included a post about toxic people in your fitness blog. So many people fail to see a connection between their environment and their fitness level. It’s like they compartmentalize everything: Fitness, spirituality, family, friends, etc. But in reality it is all intertwined and connected in ways we can’t even see.
I love what you’ve said!!
Blessings to you!
Sandy
Hi Alissa,
Thanks for the great post. Seems like so many people are interested in “Detoxing”, yet they tend to limit it to a Physical detoxification. That’s great, but developing strategies to handle Spiritually and Emotionally toxic people is of even greater benefit. Thanks for sharing.
Dr. George Burroughs
Hey Alissa – I know this came from your heart. Thanks for a sharing a good message. I like your thought of giving them a two minute time limit!
We need to gravitate toward and spend our time with those peoople who also love the Lord and have desire for His very best for OUR lives and for THEIR OWN lives as well. Don’t let the “toxic” people ruin your days and your life.
Blessings for all the hope and inspiration you and Jeremy have given me and so many other people as well.